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Apple ate my hamster ‘Mr. Raffles’ (and 7 other things that aren’t true)

This article could have had a lot of alternate headlines. It could have been ‘You Can’t Win’ or ‘What did you expect?’ but, well, the internet loves a small, cute, furry animal.

What it doesn’t love is a happy consensus, so there are a whole range of opinion pieces swimming around out there on how dull/magnificent Apple/the iPhone 7 is. We don’t have one of those.

Admittedly, we did promise to bring you some useful information about the iPhone 7. This definitely isn’t that.

Consider this a post-Apple event tech journalist detox. The hyperbole runs strong (the company did refer to how much “courage” it was taking to remove the headphone jack and replace the option¬†with a $130 set of headphones), so it has to come out somewhere.

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